An Ode to Bedtime

I love going to bed. 

No, not just toddling into the bedroom, ripping off my jeans, and falling into a messy mountain of sheets and blankets; I mean actually going through the motions of shutting down the house, fully relaxing myself, and then finally drifting off into my subconscious. You really sort of have to pre-game to get this thing exactly right. It’s a ritual, you see. 

First off, you’ll need to go into relaxation mode. Go ahead and close the curtains, deadbolt the doors, and turn off most of the lights in the house. A living room lamp will do wonders to set the mood and bring down your stress levels to a very manageable place. At this point, do something extremely leisurely. Catch up on the latest episode of a favorite show, read a few chapters from your newest book club novel, or have some light conversation about that silly thing your co-worker told you earlier in the day. Maybe enjoy a light snack like a frozen fruit or a cookie (don’t go overboard or you’ll regret it, trust me). This entire process should only take 30-60 minutes, so don’t couch surf for too terribly long! You’ll run the risk of feeling bloated and listless which will make falling asleep all the more difficult. 

Next up is the bedroom phase. That’s where we bid the living room adieu and move into your sleeping quarters to prepare for the grand finale. It’s time to strip down to your bedtime attire and get ready for the best sleep of your life. Personally, I throw in a shower for good measure. Something about hot water, fresh clothes, and knowing that I’m fresh as can be helps me slip into my “sleepy kitty” mode. Of course, teeth-brushing, flossing, and mouthwash is imperative, because bastard bacteria will attack your gorgeous enamel the most during your reposing hours. 

Finally, it’s time for the show to begin. At this point, you’d better hope to God that you have a clean room and a made bed, or the entire process is shot to sunshine. Let’s assume you had some foresight and properly prepared. I personally always turn the thermostat down so that the entire place will get intensely cool; sleeping under several layers of blankets is a must for coziness purposes, and you can’t let yourself get hot. If you need a nightlight or some sort of auditory aid (such as the sound of falling rain or running water), then be my guest. My recommendation? Just let the absolute darkness and soft hum of the AC take you away. It allows our senses to take a break from that constant stimuli from the wear of the day and prepare for tomorrow. This is my favorite phase; there’s something so intimate about knowing that we’re safe enough to lie helpless throughout the entire night. We trust our beds far more than we realize. 

Now, safely secured, stress-free, and set for slumber, just go to sleep. I personally have a place I go in my mind every night that only I know, and it helps me forget about all the other worries in my life. I don’t think about things there, really. I just let go and drift away. Which is what I’m about to do.

Goodnight.