Out of all the titles I'm quite proud to possess, perhaps none is so honorable as brother of DKE. Delta Kappa Epsilon was founded in 1844, and has since spread across the nation. Our noble history includes multiple presidents, celebrities, even one that has ventured to the moon. Our ideals are based around upstanding character, charitable acts, and a certain zeal for enjoying life. I pledged my first semester as a Freshman and feel quite lucky to have spent all 4 years within this organization. As happy as I am to call myself a brother, I often find myself defending this position. Perhaps I should explain to those of you who did not attend my college. Our school isn't exactly welcoming of Greek Life. Technically, one can get expelled it he or she takes part in any sort of secret society, color group, or greek letter organization. While the discussion comes up every few years in the form of SGA meetings, public forums, and endless rants on social networks, it is always, inevitably shot down. You think presidential election season is bad? You ought to see how heated these debates get. My chapter is officially chartered through the city, and while I'm quite content to keep things as they are, there are those who adamantly detest greek life organizations. I can understand many of the arguments they make, although some reach a point of absurdity and offense. I'm proud to call myself a Deke, and I've taken part in my fair share of political debates over the subject. I've put much of the pettiness of all it behind me, but it would bring me a great deal of catharsis to set the record straight.
There is No Hazing
"When I was a Freshman, a freshman, soft and green, I dreamt of Delta Kappa, of college life the queen!"
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| Us after the brothers were pissed after the new "The Bachelor" |
When one thinks of pledging to join a fraternity, I'm sure all sorts of terrible mental images immediately come to mind. We've all heard our fair share of horror stories: the elephant march, a thrilling round of wet biscuit, or simply handing a group of pledges a handle of Kentucky Gentlemen and a time limit to chug. I'm not going to lie, I suspect this type of thing can be quite common in other fraternities. Hell, my state received humiliating national press for the damn butt-chugging incident at a school only 20 minutes from mine. I refuse to speak on the behalf of other organizations, or even other chapters, but I can tell you about mine with great experience. Refer to DKE as a "frat" to any member of my chapter, and they'll be quick to respond "It's a fraternity, not a frat." I pledged for months, and was witness to 7 other classes, and there is no hazing. It's sure as hell not easy, but the idea of mental and physical torture, often homo-erotic or liver-eroding in nature, is a myth in our case. Why the hell should any of you believe me? Because I couldn't mentally handle doing any of that nonsense. I'm literally too prideful, too sexually attracted to women, and too emotionally weak to handle that.
Inclusive ≠ Exclusive
"When I was a Sophomore, so festive gay and free, I wore with pin the diamond pin of our jolly fraternity!"
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| "You can't sit with us, loser!" was practically our motto |
The biggest argument at our school was the notion that groups like mine are completely exclusive. One girl spoke at a forum and mourned that she was forced to transfer schools because greek life was exclusive to the point where she wasn't allowed to sit at certain tables in her school dining hall. While I'm sympathetic to her case and others like it, I want to make a couple of counterpoints. For one, there are already exclusive groups on campus that fit the exact depiction she described; they're our school sports teams. I remember going to a party mostly comprised of the soccer team my junior year. Admittedly, I crashed the party, but the way I was treated was incredibly bizarre. The instant my small group entered, everyone stopped speaking immediately and starred us down. Most of these people were strangers, yet some were aquaintances. Every single one of them got up to leave, but not before we were forced to go. After being invited back in by one of the fellows that lived in the dorm, my friends were still met with angry glares, awkward silences, and bitter mutters about leaving. Does that sound warm and welcoming to you? My fraternity is one comprised of athletes, video game nerds, SGA presidents, and oddballs that don't really fit anywhere else. We have certain standards to pledge, but I fail to see how that's relevant. Getting a job, joining a sports team, even getting into my very college required a certain standard. It's all part of maintaining a high quality for your organization. We may not have an "everyone can join" policy, but we sure as hell don't forbid people to join our table at lunch.
We Care About Our Community
"A sentimental junior, I sported a mustache; among the innocent maidens, I cut an awful dash!"
"A sentimental junior, I sported a mustache; among the innocent maidens, I cut an awful dash!"
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| My chapter on the way to a Habitat build |
I think there's another nasty stereotype that fraternities solely exist to throw parties and get hammered. There is some partial truth in that statement in the sense that we do party. We throw parties, and we throw the best parties. Yes, I'm bragging here. You know the kind of parties you see in movies where hundreds of people are dancing, cheering, and having the time of their lives? We threw those. I fear I'm getting off point here, so let's go back. I have two things to say to this stance: A. Again, sports teams often throw crazy parties and get belligerent together, and B. We aren't solely about these parties. My chapter is one that cares a great deal about philanthropy, and we often spend time doing services for the community. Many brothers are members of scholarships that require 20 to 40 hours of community service monthly. We have adopted a local road that we regularly maintain to fight against litter. We've sang and danced at nursing homes, aided in Habitat for Humanity home builds, and raised money for foreign aid. You have to meet the qualities of a gentlemen, scholar, and jollygood fellow to pledge, and I think people like to generously harp on the latter.
Brothers for Life
"A grave and reverend Senior, I soothed my fevered brain by dreaming of commencement day, pipes, ladies and champagne!"
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| Now I'm marked for life |
Someone at a student forum once got up and asked "I don't get it. What is the point of being in a fraternity?" I went up to publicly respond by telling of my story. During the first meeting of my pledge class, my pledge educator told us that we were about to embark on a journey that would make us brothers for life. I called bullshit. Sure, we'd be pals, but it would only be about as deep as the one shared with that buddy you make in freshman orientation: awkward conversation every now and then, and not much else. I have never been so wrong in my life. By the very end, I remember admitting to the brothers that it didn't matter to me if I was admitted into the fraternity: I had already formed a bond with my brothers that would last a lifetime. Every time I see a brother come into town for a visit, I immediately embrace them in a bear hug. I love these brothers like family. We may not always get along, but I know for certain that I could call upon any of my brothers in my hour of need and they would be there in an instant. This actually matters to us in a very deep way. As condescending as it sounds, one can't really take in the sheer significance of these bonds until he has gone through the pledging process.
"And when, in happy years to come, I sport my children three, I'll mark them each with a stencil plate, one D, one K, one E!"
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